A Message by Rev. Greg Moser

Given to Green Ridge Baptist Church

May 30, 2010

 

CHOOSING FORGIVENESS OVER BITTERNESS

Hebrews 12:15

 

INTRO:  Ryan Loveing stated the number one issue in churches they have ministered in was BITTERNESS.

·        Doctors have found that people who are bitter have much more arthritis, more stomach problems, more heart trouble, and more mental problems.

·        ILLUS:  South American vine known as the “matador.”  Kills the trip by wrapping itself around it.  Crowns itself at the top with a flower.  Matador means “killer.” 

·        There’s another “matador” that God wants us to deal with this morning.

 

Let’s look at several attitudes dealing with bitterness and unforgiveness

 

1.    “There’s no unforgiveness in my heart.”

·        Do you find any of these statements to be true?

o       Every time I think of (Person/Offense), I still feel angry.

o       I have a subtle, secret desire to see (Person) pay for what he/she/they did to me.

o       Deep in my heart, I wouldn’t mind if something bad happened to the person(s) who hurt me.

o       I sometimes find myself telling others how (Person) hurt me.

o       If (Person’s) name comes up, I am more likely to say something negative about him/her than something positive.

o       I cannot thank God for (Person).

·        Remember, forgiveness means that I fully release the offender from his debt—cleaning his record, not to bring it up again.

 

2.    “There’s no way I could ever forgive (person) for (offense).  He/She/They hurt me too deeply.

·        What are some of the hurts Jesus suffered from us?  Isaiah 53:3-7

·        How has God dealt with us who have sinned against Him so greatly?  Ephesians 2:4-5; Isaiah 43:25; Micah 7:18-19 (p.1278)

·        How did Jesus command us to respond to those who wrong us?  Luke 6:27; Romans 12:17-21; Ephesians 4:31-32

·        How are we enabled to forgive?  Philippians 2:13; 4:13

 

3.    “They don’t deserve to be forgiven.”

·        What did we do to deserve GOD’s forgiveness?  Romans 5:8

 

4.    “If I forgive them, they’re off the hook!”

·        By forgiving, you turn them over to the justice of God.  YOU go free, not the offender!  2 Corinthians 5:10

 

5.    “I’ve forgiven them, but I’ll never be able to forget what they did to me.”

·        When God forgives us, what does He promise to do?  Psalm 103:12

·        Forgiveness does not equal forgetfulness.  An omniscient God cannot forget.  He does promise not to hold our sins against us.

·        Ask yourself, do you…

o       Desire for God to bless him?

o       Desire to see him spiritually restored?

o       Have a sense of rest and relinquishment?

o       Have gratefulness to God for this person?

o       Have a humble spirit realizing how great you have sinned against God and how much He has forgiven you?

 

6.    “I really have forgiven, but I still struggle with feelings of hurt.”

·        What must we be willing to do in addition to forgiving those who sin against us?  Luke 6:27-31

·        The initial act of releasing the offender must be followed by a commitment to invest positively in his/her life.

 

7.    “I won’t forgive!”

·        Forgiveness is a CHOICE.  It is a choice that God both commands and enables. 

·        What can we expect if we refuse to forgive those who sin against us?  Matthew 18:32-35

Taken from Life Action Revival Ministries (www.lifeaction.org)

 

 

Steps Toward Freedom From Bitterness

(Taken from Charles Stanley’s book, “The Gift of Forgiveness,” p. 169-70)

1.    Make a list of WHO hurt you and HOW they hurt you.

2.    Make a list of your own faults.

3.    Make a list of things you have done and for which God has forgiven you.

4.    Ask God to help you view that person who has wronged you as a tool in the hand of God.

5.    Ask God to forgive you for your bitterness toward that person.

6.    Decide in your heart to assume total responsibility for your attitude.

7.    If you feel it is appropriate, and will not cause more problems that it solves, go to that person, confess your bitterness, and ask for forgiveness.  Remember, you are assuming the responsibility for your attitude; you are not trying to get them to repent.

 

 

CONCLUSION:  “Lord, I’ve been bitter, and right now, I’m going to choose, as an act of my will, to forgive—to take these necessary steps of action.  I thank You for that person, for that circumstance, for that situation; and I choose to trust You for the grace and power to respond as Jesus would.  With Your help I want to move from bitterness to forgiveness, and then on to joyful freedom.  Amen.”